This is part two of the creating solid logline that I've learned from Blake Snyder's "Save The Cat." A logline is telling the story in one to two sentences.
There are three ways to amp up a logline for your story.
• Including an adjective with your hero
• Introducing a bad guy with an adjective as well.
• Creating a basic "Primal" goal that your hero must overcome and will do so by any means possible.
Here is my original logline before I amped it.
• A straitlaced teenager who must find work to save up for airship academy joins a misfit crew of flunkies who specialize in odd jobs.
Current AMPED version
•A straitlaced teenage girl puts her dreams of Airship Academy on hold to save her rogue brother from aggressive debt collectors by joining a misfit crew of flunkies who specialize in paranormal jobs.
I already had an adjective for the hero, but clarified it will be a girl. Included a villain and the primal goal of wanting to save a family member.
Leave your comments on the YouTube video!